Who Am I, Anyway?

The following post is from my new blog: DEAR SKINNY ME 

Please check them out, this post and my new blog ... 

I am on a journey that will need much love :) 

See that me-picture to the left and then the one above?  The me-picture to the left is 50 pounds ago and those 50 pounds, gone with diet pills.  The above is current, taken last month.

This is why I am here.  I look like I ate the girl to the left.  But even so, I am finding my skinny self the right way, I don't like the feeling of being on crack, diet pills suck.    

Me? OK.  Who am I, anyway?  You think after twenty plus ten plus two years on this need-to-get-it greener world, I would know who I am, anyway.  Here's a given: I am a Mom, three times, and my kids are pretty awesome, you'd think so too.  I am a sweetheart and babe to one lucky fella, a sister, a daughter, a granddaughter, a best friend, a cousin, a niece and one thing I hope I am not, an enemy.  I hope to be an aunt one day and soon at that, but don't tell my married sister, she's testing my wanna-be-an-aunt patience but I love her still, a whole lot.  

Wanna go in deep?  Well, I am not anyone really that special, but am loved a bunch.  I like to be creative, use my hands and make pretty presents for people.  I love books and just don't believe that the Kindle is going to make me as happy.  And with books, I love bookstores.  Can the bookstore scent be bottled?  Yes, I know, weird.  Never said I wasn't.  I always spell check and wish everyone else would too.  I love looking up synonyms for words.  I like school and the fact that I am finally getting my needed-education.  Long baths make flu like symptoms go away for me.  Solitaire is my favorite card game.  I can watch endless hours of reruns of Friends.  I belong in San Francisco. My honey serenaded me with "Fly Me to the Moon," and yes, I love Frank Sinatra forever because of it, oh, and yes, my honey too. I am a hostess but always at someone else's home.  I've never been but believe I would love Seattle.  I love my furry friend, and can't wait to have a bigger place so I can have more furry friends. 

A little more deeper?  I had a happy childhood and spent most of it reading.  Reading is awesome but it isn't something you can really do while riding a bike or going for a jog and don't think it's easy to read on a treadmill, tried that and wanted to bring up my food.  So thinking of my childhood, my only one "take back," I wish I moved my ass more.  In high school I was neither the sporty chick nor the hot chick.  I wasn't a big girl in high school, that came later, much later but I wasn't a size four either, which is perfectly fine with me.  I had curves, curves I know I still have but they are hiding under lots of extra curves. With a girlfriend once, at the mall, a group of young jerks actually starting singing "Baby Got Back," to me while we were passing by.  I know it was for me, I had the curves and she was blessedly skinny.
I had my children young, starting when I was 20 and finished when I was 24.  And since then, the baby weight, yes I know I can't use that excuse anymore when my baby is 8, but the weight just never came off.  Did I work on it? No.  So it's my fault?  Damn right.  So here I am.  Many moons and suns have passed since I said I would lose weight.  "Dear Skinny Me," isn't a plea to get skinny.  It's a plea to get healthy and do what is right for me, for once.  I always just passed it to my future self and said, "tomorrow we'll work on this."  How many tomorrows?  Lots and lots of them.  Even as I type this "About Me" in my diet blog, I haven't really started this weight loss journey.  I had Carl's Jr for lunch today, how's that for trying, huh?  My twenties were spent raising three little ones and hiding under lots of layers.  I missed a good amount of time going out for fear of having to dress and suck it all in, and believe me, Spanx only works so well.  Now I am living my thirties and holy hell do I NOT want to be living my twenties over! I am done hiding from outings, I am done thinking of a big event coming up and estimating how much weight can I lose by then?  I am done looking at my sisters and best friends and loving them so much but wishing I could find my own individual style as well.  I don't even know what my style is. Jeans and sweatshirts aren't really creative! I am ready to put my words out there and for once, do something about it! I am ready to post my weight (SCARY) and full blown icky fat pictures of me out there and fingers crossed be able to fix that scary number and take awesome pictures.  So here's to my journey.  Long and hard and shit, I haven't even started and I am freaking out, but here's to my Future Skinny Self ... 100 pounds down.  And if I reach those 100 pounds, I will gladly dance my ass off to "Baby Got Back" and be so freaken proud!
 

So because of my overly long post and if you're still here reading away ... thank you ... I have started a new blog dedicated to finding my skinny self.  What is the name of my new blog? Well of course ... DEAR SKINNY ME  ... please check it out, follow it and be oh-so ready to kick my ass when I don't. 

And the food goes to:

I have just arrived home from a nice birthday party for my one-year-old cousin.  Always love hanging with my large clan and seeing what everyone is up to.  It seems though after every party my household is the one that ends up with the goody bag of food.  Maybe it's because I have the three kids and two growing boys that do eat, and yes, a lot.  And even though I don't want to say, "No" because, one, just seems a little rude to me, but more so, because I certainly do love to have these easy to access food handy for my kids and man and they aren't the ones on the diet.  And it's not bad food, not diet food, but not bad and actually stuff I would purchase at the local market, just a lot of it.  Well except for the plate full of leftover cupcakes but say what you want, I just don't say NO to cupcakes ... hence the little predicament I am in of being a fat ass.  So ... here we go willpower.  STAY AWAY FROM THE GOODIES IN THE KITCHEN.  Because I am thankful for my cousins to send me home with the food, even the goodies, my kids aren't sweet deprived and have no reason to be, it's just off limits for me!
Sunday is here and of course after Sunday is Monday, you know Monday, it's very popular for a lot of diets, we all seem to start on Monday.  And for me, this is the case.  I am going to start writing my food intake here, and be honest with Mr. Blogger.  I also started "Double Up On Healthy Seconds Challenge" with Jessica at Healthy for 100 and promised that this week I will get my booty moving for at least 30 minutes DAILY, drink more water, at least 8 glasses, and yes, WRITE IT ALL DOWN.  Check in with me and make sure I am holding my end of the bargain because it is Thanksgiving week after all and so easy for me to just want to be lazy during the holidays.

Go Me!